Memories are made of This:
Jeremiah 1:5–Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee: and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
God knew us before he formed us. He had a plan, and a purpose and we were all called at the appointed time.
In 1957 I took a serious fall from a horse, the Doctor told me I would never walk again, but that Doctor did not know that Jesus healed me because God knew me and He had a plan for me.
In 1960 I lost my voice for over a year, the Doctor told me I would have this condition for the rest of my life, but that Doctor did not know that Jesus healed me because God knew me and He had a plan for me.
In 1982 an injured horse ran over me, the Doctor told me I had gangrene in my left leg and that he would have to remove it, but the Doctor did not know that Jesus healed me because God knew me and He had a plan for me.
In 1984 a man came after me with a gun, but God had someone alert me and I ran away, that man did not know that Jesus protected me because God knew me and He had a plan for me.
In 1985, my husband ended up holding a revolver between my eyes, but God sent the police, that man did know that Jesus protected me because God knew me and He had a plan for me.
In 1990 after two knee surgeries, the Doctor told me I would never heal and needed knee replacements or spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, but the Doctor didn’t know that Jesus healed me because God knew me and He had a plan for me.
In 2001, the Doctor told me I would die because of the type of cancerous tumor I had, but the Doctor did not know that Jesus healed me because God knew me and He had a plan for me.
This list could go on and on, but these are just a few things that came to mind. People always called me lucky, charmed and having a good luck charm of some sort. As I look back on my life, there were many times that Jesus has saved, protected and healed me. I wondered why? What was this plan, how do I find out about it? Who would know? There must be a reason that I was still alive, some purpose. My parents could not give me any answers, they hated God. His name was not allowed to be said in our home.
I was always curious about the things of God, but dared not ask. When my parents died my brother and I were forbidden to have any Words from God said at their funerals. I wondered why God would want me. I was damaged goods, if he loved me, why did he let me suffer so much?
It was obvious that God was watching over me, so this means that he must know me and he must have a plan for me. I wondered God had let me suffer so much injury and pain, and where was he?
I read in:
John 9:1-3 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth (like I was spiritually blind). And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
So that was it, I was born to Glorify God, my injuries, close calls, all those things could be used to Glorify God. Well that answered a lot of questions, but how could I glorify him, when I didn’t even know where to begin? I had no background with God, did he really know me?
Glorifying God seemed easy enough, but now that I know why I was born and born spiritually blind, now I need to know what I need to do next. How do you find God when you don’t know where he is? How do you find God, when you have been told all of your life that it is all a lie and God does not really exist and if he does, he is evil? Something deep inside me continued to drive me: I had to know the truth. Let’s read in:
John 8:32: And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.
I am not sure how this would work, but I thought I will begin by attending church. After several failed attempts, I ended up at Living Word Christian Center. Something happened. Pastor Winston read the following scripture and things began to click inside me.
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
Seeking the Kingdom of God, that is what I must do! There were so many unanswered questions, but seeking was proactive and that is how I always had handled life. I always go after what I want, and now I want God. I began reading the Bible more and more. I found this scripture in Acts that just reaffirmed who I really was.
Acts 17:27-28 That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us.
For in him we live, and move, and have our being: as certain also of your own poets have said, for we are also his offspring.
Now I know why I was so uncomfortable when my parents attacked God. I belonged to God, he is my true Father. Now I know why I prayed in secret, to a God I did not even know. I also understand why I had a Bible that I hid from my parents, even though I did not understand it, I still felt comfortable with it hidden under my mattress. God was my true Father and the body of Christ was my true family.
Have you ever felt a hunger for something and you did not know what it was? Have you just stood with the refrigerator door open, longing for something and you did not know what it was? Things were being formed in my heart, things I did not understand. I was looking for them, but still did not know for sure what it was that I wanted. I just had to commit myself to finding the answer as Job did.
Job 5:8 I would seek unto God, and unto God would I commit my cause:
Which doeth great things and unsearchable; marvelous things without number.
Seeking the Kingdom of God must be more that just words, I had to know God and who he was.
God knew me which meant that I knew him also.
Definition: know and knew: The word know, implies an active relationship, to observe, fully perceive, notice attentively. The past tense of know is knew, which means: regarded, recognized, paid attention to, be acquainted with. The knower has actual involvement with or in the object of the knowing. (Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary)
Not only did God know me before I was born, and I knew him, but he also knew the plans that he had for me. I had already been decided! All I had to do was to get on Gods path and stay there.
Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NLT)
“For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. “If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and bring you home again to your own land.
All my failed marriages, all my successful and failed business ventures, all the radical, extreme things I did in my life only had one purpose: to keep me from my true path which was with God. The enemy sure had my number. He knew how to keep me running in the Wilderness for 40 years. The ironic thing for me was that Canaan was just over that that next hill, and I just kept going around that same mountain, year after year, after year.
The way of the world was not working for me. The years are rolling by; I gained a mile in life then lost two. Something was wrong. I had been listening to the wrong voice all my life. I heard: sacrifice your time and energy for your business, then you will be a success. Forget the free time for yourself and for your family, strive, push, conquer and you will make it. But this voice forgot to tell me what I was really missing. I never had the time to know who I really was. But yet someone knew who I was, someone really knew me.
Isaiah 49:1–Listen, O isles, unto me: and hearken, ye people, from far: The Lord hath called me from the womb: from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name.
As I began to know the Lord, to know God, I began to know myself. I began to know that I was in fact his daughter, and beloved. I knew that the lonely path I had been on, was taking me the wrong way. I was looking for the wrong riches. Things were beginning to be revealed to me. I was no longer distrustful of people and ideas. Christ lived in me, I knew him and he knew me. We can confirm this in:
Colossians 1:27 to whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
I had been living in the wrong world those 40 years. I had been wandering in the wilderness when there is a better way. The way of the one who knew me, and called me and will never forget me: that is the way I must go.
Isaiah 44:21 Remember these, O Jacob and Israel; for thou art my servant: I have formed thee: thou art my servant: O Israel, thou shalt not be forgotten of me.
When I heard the Word, I remembered in my spirit, it was not new information it was a wonderful form of remembering.
This wonderful form of remembering is called Revelation knowledge.
Galatians 1:16 To reveal his Son in me, that I might preach him among the heathen, immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood.
Definition: Revelation: an uncovering, drawing away by Christ of the veil of darkness covering the Gentiles. The mystery, the purpose of God in this age. An expression of the mind of God for the instruction of the church. The objective use is that in which something is presented to the senses, sight or hearing, as referring to the past. Thoughts that were before hidden in the heart.
When you remember: You remember from deep in your soul.
Ephesians 3:3 the communication of the knowledge of God to the soul.
God is not teaching us, but reminding us of what we have forgotten thru the curse. He pulls away the veil in our minds so that we see the truth… We knew it all before the foundation of the world, when we knew God as he knew us. This is kept secret from the heathen, but revealed to the body of Christ.
Romans 16:25-26–Not to him that is of power to stablish you according to my gospel, and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery, which was kept secret since the world began. 26.–But now is made manifest, and by the scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandment of the everlasting God, made know to all nations for the obedience of faith.
You are not learning it, you are remembering it. If you learn, you must do it over and over, there is little joy. When you are learning something, you must memorize it. When the answer is revealed by your teacher, your heart does not jump and you say Hallelujah! You might not even remember it the next day. When something is revealed to you, your heart sings, you remember it deep in your soul and you never forget it. This is not learning, it is remembering: its revelation knowledge.
2nd Corinthians 12:1–It is not expedient for me doubtless to glory. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord.
God gives us visions and revelations to assure us that we are going the right way. To live in the Kingdom of God, you must live in revelation knowledge. It is who you are and what you knew. It is the beacon that is leading you home. Without it, we are just men living in this world, not living in the Kingdom.
Galatians 1:11-12 but I certify you, brethren that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man. For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Remember God, he formed us, called us and protected us. The enemy tried to damage my legs and throat so I could not GO into all World, or SPEAK the Word, but God protected me because he knew the plans that he had for me. His plan was for me to:
Mark 16:15 Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
God knew us before he formed us and we knew him. He had a plan, and a purpose and we were all called at the appointed time.
I sought God. During my 40 years in the wilderness: I didn’t know who I was. I spent all my time listening to the wrong voice. I was convinced that hard work and pushing toward success was what I needed to do.
God knew me and I knew Him: I didn’t know that God knew me and that I knew him. Most of my life I searched the crowed streets, looking at each persons eyes, looking for something, some glimmer or recognition, not knowing that I was really seeking God
Revelation: My spiritually blinded eyes were opened when I began to remember who I was. I had been asleep in the spirit.
Genesis 28:16 And Jacob awakened out of his sleep, and he said, surely the Lord is in this place: and I knew it not.
This was the story of my life: God was there, and until I awakened out of my sleep, I didn’t even know it!
Now I remember who I am and why God sent me to the earth. Each day something else is revealed to me. It is so comforting, so real and so truthful to remember. It gives me strength and courage in Christ to continue this journey.
I now know God, and he knows me, we talk about things. I realize why I was born, and that he has a path for each and every one of us. As our relationship grows, I am more comfortable asking him things that concern me. Here are two questions that I recently asked God.
Why did you wait so long to call me?
Deuteronomy 8:2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments or no.
I needed to be humbled, to know that what I did in this life had no value unless it was in the name of Jesus. In response to that question: Why did you wait so long to call me? The Lord answered me: Because I needed you now.
What about poverty and hunger?
I also asked Him, that since he took care of me and had a plan for me, why he didn’t do something about poverty and hunger like we saw in India.
He answered me and said he already did something about hunger and poverty in the world: I made you…